6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Holy sore nipples Batman
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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