How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
