yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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