i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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