I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
