So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
