I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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