i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
