Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
