yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
