Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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