I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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