yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
