Plan B is the new Plan A
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
