We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
