Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
