Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
