we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
