love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
