I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
