the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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