she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Someone signed my nipple.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
