Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
