he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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