every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
