Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
