Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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