Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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