So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
