Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
smell my finger.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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