Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
