You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize