Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
