Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
