dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
