On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Randomize
