He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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