my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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