Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
