We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We are two peas in an std pod
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
