Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
