I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
im on a boat
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