So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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