vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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