I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
