someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
my poor anus
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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