She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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