He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
