Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
