Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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