he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You ruined the universe
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