I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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